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The sharing of marriage...

 

The old man placed an order for one hamburger,

French fries and a drink.

 

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and

carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

 

 

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into

two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

 

He took

a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between

them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around

them were looking over and whispering.

 

Obviously they were

thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the

two of them.'

 

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came

to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple.

The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing

everything.

 

People

closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She

sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping

the drink.

 

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let

him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank

you, we are used to sharing everything.'

 

Finally, as the old man

finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man

again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of

food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'

 

She answered

 

 

(Continue below - This is great)    

 

 

 

 

I’m waiting for the TEETH

 

 

'THE

TEETH'

 

My kind of cooking!

Delia's Way
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice-cream drips .

The Real Woman's Way
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God's sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

Delia's Way
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

The Real Woman's Way
Buy Smash and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year.

Delia's Way
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

The Real Woman's Way
Tescos' sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.

Delia's Way
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice.

The Real Woman's Way
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough shit. Please recite with me the Real Woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

Delia's Way
Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks

The Real Woman's Way
It could keep forever. Who eats it?

Delia's Way
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

The Real Woman's Way
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of vodka. Drink the vodka. You might still have the headache, but you wont give a flying banana!

Finally the most important tip

Delia's Way
Freeze left over wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles

The Real Woman's Way
Left over wine???? Helloooo

 

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